Went out with my best Madison friend and my coworker and my coworker's wife. They thought I was pretty (my coworker and his wife; my best friend is veryvery straight). This was nice because I got very drunk (still am, really; you have no idea how many typos I'm correcting as I type this; thank God for Firefox spellchecking as I go) and I'm kind of having trouble sitting up straight, but that's okay. I meant to do things this Spring Break; I wanted to reread Moby Dick and finish this book on peasant uprisings in Tokugawa Japan and respond to feedback and write feedback to stories I've adored, and instead all I've done is worked and slept and gotten drunk tonight.
Paragraph breaks are good. And I've been putting off writing this guy who used to be a customer at my store, but I really like him, and I'm going to see him this summer when I go to visit my brother in Taiwan. It's hard to know what to say to him though; I feel that I was never properly socialized, and he's kind of awesome. He's a social and environmental engineer, and really nice, and he thinks I'm nice, and I don't want him to think otherwise, which means that it's hard to talk to him, even though not-talking to him is a bad idea. It probably won't go anywhere, anyway. We're from totally different cultures (he's Japanese), and we live in different countries, and I feel like he expects more from me than I can give. Because he wants me to be smart and hardworking, and all I want to do is learn Japanese and maybe Korean and read interesting books and write slash, which aren't exactly impressive accomplishments.
And I want to study history, as well, but I feel like such a fraud in comparison to the other people in grad school. They're all so smart and dedicated and adult, and I'm such a flake, and I can't even keep on top of my hobbies, let alone real life. This post is getting depressing. And my best Madison friend wants to delete her livejournal, even though I like reading it sometimes, because she wants to just forget about that part of her life. And now I'm devolving into sheer self-centeredness. Is that a word? I think I really am very selfish, after all. I want a good conclusion to this post, but all that's coming to mind as aphorisms from Little Women and things like "Nobuta wo Produce is awesome. Write Shuuji/Shittaka for me," (not really. I can write it myself. I mean, if someone wanted to write the pairing, that would be phenomenal, but it's not like I'm expecting it, especially when phrased as part of a drunken ramble) so I think I'm just going to go and listen to more Backstreet Boys. Who are totally awesome. Especially "Downpour," which is my new favorite song. Well, that and "愛なんて," which I've listened to a hundred-some times. More meaningful content tomorrow; love you all.
Paragraph breaks are good. And I've been putting off writing this guy who used to be a customer at my store, but I really like him, and I'm going to see him this summer when I go to visit my brother in Taiwan. It's hard to know what to say to him though; I feel that I was never properly socialized, and he's kind of awesome. He's a social and environmental engineer, and really nice, and he thinks I'm nice, and I don't want him to think otherwise, which means that it's hard to talk to him, even though not-talking to him is a bad idea. It probably won't go anywhere, anyway. We're from totally different cultures (he's Japanese), and we live in different countries, and I feel like he expects more from me than I can give. Because he wants me to be smart and hardworking, and all I want to do is learn Japanese and maybe Korean and read interesting books and write slash, which aren't exactly impressive accomplishments.
And I want to study history, as well, but I feel like such a fraud in comparison to the other people in grad school. They're all so smart and dedicated and adult, and I'm such a flake, and I can't even keep on top of my hobbies, let alone real life. This post is getting depressing. And my best Madison friend wants to delete her livejournal, even though I like reading it sometimes, because she wants to just forget about that part of her life. And now I'm devolving into sheer self-centeredness. Is that a word? I think I really am very selfish, after all. I want a good conclusion to this post, but all that's coming to mind as aphorisms from Little Women and things like "Nobuta wo Produce is awesome. Write Shuuji/Shittaka for me," (not really. I can write it myself. I mean, if someone wanted to write the pairing, that would be phenomenal, but it's not like I'm expecting it, especially when phrased as part of a drunken ramble) so I think I'm just going to go and listen to more Backstreet Boys. Who are totally awesome. Especially "Downpour," which is my new favorite song. Well, that and "愛なんて," which I've listened to a hundred-some times. More meaningful content tomorrow; love you all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}