jain: (Default)
( Apr. 15th, 2002 03:07 pm)
I'm not going to be returning to college this fall. My parents are not pleased, and my friends are concerned, and I'm feeling slightly guilty. The worst part is, this is such a recurring theme in my life. It took me five years to get through high school, and it looks like it'll take me at least seven before I get my fricking bachelor's degree.

On the other hand, I'm really hating being here. I hate my classes, I hate writing essays, I hate learning--and that's never happened to me in my life. I want to try doing something else for a while; ideally, I'll find a nice internship doing editorial work or something, but at the least I want to live away from my family for a while and do things that probably only I find impressive, like doing all my own grocery shopping and learning how to use public transportation.

I'm pretty sure I'm making the right decision, as much as it galls me to yet again demonstrate my inability to live a normal life. I mean, everyone else manages to finish college and get a driver's license and so forth with no apparent difficulty. But I can't countenance spending thousands of dollars to go to college when I'm not deriving anything of value from the experience, and doing the bare minimum in my classes while remaining unmoved by what I'm learning really isn't worth much.
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